Well hello I feel the need to write about me everywhere I can. It might be because of the oversharer generation I was born into or that I expect everyone to be subject to my feeling. Maybe it's because in heart I know that no one really wants to know about Nichelle Tully-Bailey. She lived, she died, and everything she did in between became as she did, irrelevent. I'm not looking to be remembered (if even a little). I've always seen myself as either superior or irrelevant, inadequate, and small.
Hello I'm Nichelle and even as I write this, I want to be forgotten, to be swallowed below everyone else's lives. I've heard that being able to lie convincingly at a young age means you'll become a more successful adult. I don't think it's the lying that gives you a someway psychological advantage at "getting successful" whatever you would like to define it. My successful, well I don't have a definition. Unlike adults I'm totally honest in myself gratifying actions. A family is not ideal. Continuing the line of sad liquid coursing through me to another being seems cruel. So yes alone is probably what I'll become because everyone wants a family, someone who looks up to you and needs to rely on you, someone to put you as their own #1. How self-gratifying is it to want someone for yourself.
Hello my name is Nichelle. I still think high school is the hardest years of your life. No one wants to peak at high school, but I think a peaked at elementary school. Back when I felt smart and the weight of the world somehow started to make it soul crushing descent upon my metaphorical shoulders. I've always found philosophy quite interesting. Just thinking, you don't have to articulate your philosophy. Speaking prevents thought; thought brings on the need to speak. I don't like articulating my thoughts. I don't answer questions in class or put too much outward participation. No, my confidence in all I do is low. Never quite sure so even if I am right, I'm still wrong. I don't like to articulate my thoughts or talk about myself. I do speak of myself but there very superficial or lies that are elaborate enough to believe.
I know people say that the only constant is change. But it's only change if you cling too much to one concept. The change is inconsistency. If that only made sense.
