"Your friends with everyone, your like the friend Houdini" She exclaims, in my head im thinking Houdini was an escapist, i don't evaded making friends.
"Your Friends with Asher and Carolina now thats magic" She continues, to this day I feel no compassion for Asher, he is racist and annoying to everyone, friend is another way to say that we have mutual respect for each other.
Her friends hoared around her pulling her away to tell their silly jokes and random conversations i walk away wondering why my other friends don't pull me away from everyone as often as her "Entourage" do. i walk up the stair and hanging my stuff in the usaual place she apporches me, seeing the gloom on my face she asks 'whats wrong' i tell her 'nothing' to hide her from the inner Emo and self pity i try so hard not to show.
I take my seat beside one of her friends, i wonder if she is jealous of me invading her life like i have done to so many before, making friends with those who she has known for years before i came, in mere days
We go to an assembly - her friends are all sitting togather
she choses to sit with me; already i don't see why, I'd rather she sit with her friends she seems so detached from them already because of me, i can't watch her try to communicate with them from a far but i know if i say to go sit with them she will refuse and say she enjoys sitting with me
i'm the friend who will get all her "Pervy Jokes", i can only hope our friendship isn't based on that. The presentation was nice we leave and her crush points out the eyes on the christmas carollers are deformed, i laugh because everyone laughs at his jokes or fantisizes being with him if he was skinner. i particually don't find him hot or wantable at the least.i don't tell her that my other friends like him i don't want to break a line of clear seperation of social groups here, even though i am in so many social groups that i don't fit in all the time.i go outside and people confront me about how i look my friends stick up for me the popular friends do too , but to everyone's surprise so dose Asher. They say sorry and didn't mean to offend me, i cry a little for a reason only my subconsious mind knows and will not tell me.Being an unoteable person i watch as people fight, people laugh, enjoy each others company i then join like that girl who only speaks when spoken too, once i feel comfortable i'll put my 2 cents in for a moment and watch how the conversation arises and turns different directions as if our words are like cars who start road rage with other drivers who instead of swearing just say there commets about our cars.
might only be me but i feel he has the need to speak more to me then her or maybe my subconsious mind is giving me a hint about my feelings toward him i choose to ignore it because he wouldn't like me that way or any other way then friends
i encounter her again on my way home she trys to attack me hyptheticlly speaking and i seriuosly doubt what she keeps me as a friend for.she's talking with one of her friends again when i'm trying to say something, so feeling left out i make a random remark. theose remarks you only here perverts say on Youtube say, it gets there attention but i secertly feel stupid for saying it. they both leave and i am forced to walk home the long way. Just to say something to her i am forced to walk doulbe the length of sidewalk home i feel quite stupid when i could of walked with one of my friends the ones who aren't scared of anything and don't hurt me in anyway.Home a house where you must feel belonging too.at home i'm at peace no exceptations, no unfriendly encouters, no stupid remarks made for pure attention i don't have to walow in self pity because i feel none. I can listen to up beat music, hardcore rock, even those songs Yahoo music catergorized as Emo. Music is my salvation of the day what's your's ?
"Your Friends with Asher and Carolina now thats magic" She continues, to this day I feel no compassion for Asher, he is racist and annoying to everyone, friend is another way to say that we have mutual respect for each other.
Her friends hoared around her pulling her away to tell their silly jokes and random conversations i walk away wondering why my other friends don't pull me away from everyone as often as her "Entourage" do. i walk up the stair and hanging my stuff in the usaual place she apporches me, seeing the gloom on my face she asks 'whats wrong' i tell her 'nothing' to hide her from the inner Emo and self pity i try so hard not to show.
I take my seat beside one of her friends, i wonder if she is jealous of me invading her life like i have done to so many before, making friends with those who she has known for years before i came, in mere days
We go to an assembly - her friends are all sitting togather
she choses to sit with me; already i don't see why, I'd rather she sit with her friends she seems so detached from them already because of me, i can't watch her try to communicate with them from a far but i know if i say to go sit with them she will refuse and say she enjoys sitting with me
i'm the friend who will get all her "Pervy Jokes", i can only hope our friendship isn't based on that. The presentation was nice we leave and her crush points out the eyes on the christmas carollers are deformed, i laugh because everyone laughs at his jokes or fantisizes being with him if he was skinner. i particually don't find him hot or wantable at the least.i don't tell her that my other friends like him i don't want to break a line of clear seperation of social groups here, even though i am in so many social groups that i don't fit in all the time.i go outside and people confront me about how i look my friends stick up for me the popular friends do too , but to everyone's surprise so dose Asher. They say sorry and didn't mean to offend me, i cry a little for a reason only my subconsious mind knows and will not tell me.Being an unoteable person i watch as people fight, people laugh, enjoy each others company i then join like that girl who only speaks when spoken too, once i feel comfortable i'll put my 2 cents in for a moment and watch how the conversation arises and turns different directions as if our words are like cars who start road rage with other drivers who instead of swearing just say there commets about our cars.
might only be me but i feel he has the need to speak more to me then her or maybe my subconsious mind is giving me a hint about my feelings toward him i choose to ignore it because he wouldn't like me that way or any other way then friends
i encounter her again on my way home she trys to attack me hyptheticlly speaking and i seriuosly doubt what she keeps me as a friend for.she's talking with one of her friends again when i'm trying to say something, so feeling left out i make a random remark. theose remarks you only here perverts say on Youtube say, it gets there attention but i secertly feel stupid for saying it. they both leave and i am forced to walk home the long way. Just to say something to her i am forced to walk doulbe the length of sidewalk home i feel quite stupid when i could of walked with one of my friends the ones who aren't scared of anything and don't hurt me in anyway.Home a house where you must feel belonging too.at home i'm at peace no exceptations, no unfriendly encouters, no stupid remarks made for pure attention i don't have to walow in self pity because i feel none. I can listen to up beat music, hardcore rock, even those songs Yahoo music catergorized as Emo. Music is my salvation of the day what's your's ?
